I'm finally home

After 20 years of being stuck with boring PCs, I'm now the proud owner of a real computer. A Mac! The vision of the DynaBook has been made into reality by the fantastic Apple PowerBook G4 12" 37 years later we can actually build the thing! Thank you Apple. I've also placed an order for a Mac Mini. I predict that the Mac Mini will sell like hot cakes, I'm doing my share promoting this ultra cool computer. It's the computer for the rest of the world - WHY does a PC look the same as it did 25 years ago - beats me! And yes Macs do run Microsoft Office. My dream home setup, Mac Mini, WLAN, wireless keyboard and mouse and a projector, and it will be a reality in 1-2 weeks. But why oh why didn't Bang & Olufsen (B&O) produce the Apple supertoys? It's actually a disgrace.

Speaking of disgrace, or rather disappointment. OpenOffice just doesn't work. I can work around the quirks, but the Mac is supposed to be a the computer with an "automatic transmission". Problems with OpenOffice ranges from the fact that use of danish characters in filenames is illegal to problems importing some Word documents. I'm switching to Microsoft Office for now - MS does know their apps - and the Mac versions are very sleek indeed.

After this disappointment, I'm happy to report that the universial instant messenger client Adium X works really well. It has a really cool design and it works perfectly with MSN. 5 minuttes after I got the link, I was MSN'ing from my PowerBook - highly recommended. According the the Adium website the following IM protocols are supported: AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo!, Rendezvous, Yahoo! Japan, Gadu-Gadu, Jabber, Napster, Lotus Sametime (via the Meanwhile plugin, and Novell GroupWise.

More about my experiences in Mac wonderland. I've taken the red pill - Kansas is going bye-bye.

The Danish society is keeping the danish population in a state of perpetual bliss, no-one are poor unless by choice, and very few are really rich. And due to the taxsystem, it's very difficult to become rich or set up a business - to break the curve. This, paired with the high prices of everything from real estate and cars to food, both parents are forced to work full time jobs in order to keep up with the Joneses. Still danes are often listed as the most content people in the world! The society isn't totally perfect, we do have homeless and beggars in the street.

Sounds familiar? The trouble in paradise - the fact that we have things like homeless people and Janteloven (see previous posts on this), could be a control mechanism, put in place just to make it acceptable to the human mind.

What is "The Matrix" - it's Denmark!

Don't get me wrong - I love Denmark - but we need more entrepreneurs. As it is now we're losing a lot of our brightest people to parts of the world where there is a deeply rooted tradition of entrepreneurship instead of Janteloven.

The SciFi cult classic "Invasion of the body snatchers" now has a new meaning to me. As a result of that movie and extreme levels of "common knowledge", I have now "hired" professional help to guide me through the maze of womankind - a WOMAN! I'll be forever thankful - I really needed a secondant (correct English?) in the corner!

Actually it was due to John - my old buddy - that I knew so much about that movie. I believe that it is one of his favorites too, I remember hearing about it from him some 25 years ago - where he was praising the movie in high terms - and I think he actually hates SciFi - where I'm a SciFi fanatic...It's actually because the movie isn't SciFi at all, but really is about McCarthism.

Imagine that - I'm actually giving thanks to John!!!

Just to make sure we're on the same page...I'm talking about the original movie from the 50ies, the ultimate cold war allegory (spelling?)

I sacrificed my ball to R*A*W . Missing 1 (one) ball lost at the R*A*W party in Silo, Islands Brygge, actually it *was* a sacrifice, so please keep it whoever has it now.

BTW really needed that reggae/ragga/hip-hop/soul fix. Big thumbs up especially to all the cool/hot grrrrlz there - arena #4 ruled big time - the size and layout of the room was PERFECT!

Made some posts to the housemusik.dk forum:
http://www.housemusik.dk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5887

Some pictures, at least one featuring yours truly has been posted at the Urbanical website:
http://www.urbanical.com/

Wraooow det var rigtig fantastisk.

I meet Santa Claus and his stand-in the mens-room, they asked me what I wanted for Christmas, "a blow-job from Beyoncé", I told them. They asked, puzzled, "but most people ask for world peace?", "I'm the one responsible for world peace, so making me happy could help create world peace, and since getting a blow-job from Beyoncé would make me very happy, this could really create world peace", I explained. They promptly granted me my wish; so now I'm looking forward to Christmas.

COMA COMA COMA

http://www.comaclub.dk

My first rave for what seems an eternity. Actually it was! 12 years.

I guess the Baker man also went to the KRAFTWERK! concert and decided that he needed to dust off the good old 1210's and his KRAFTWERK! biscuits.

MY GOD DID I EVER MISS IT!!!

Some pictures has been posted http://www.larz.com/coma, see if you can spot me. I'm featured prominently in the long movie clip, in the front but only seen from the back. I'm wearing a hat made from paper with some paper on my wrists where you can see the US flag.

I was wearing:
Glow-in-the dark NASA T-Shirt from ThinkGeek.com
Philips Headphones from Electronic World
Supersleek blinking bikelights from Jupiter
Pacifier found in Bilka One Stop the 19th of june 2004
Hat, sleeves and "legs" made from pictures taken during my visit to NYC taped together and made into an impromptu "suit". Hat was made from names of NYPD 9-11 victims, sleeves showing a sign from the UN building and the Times Square recruiting office. Can't remember what was on the "legs".
A copy of Folkehøjskole Sangbogen - you gotta accessorise.

Later I was also "wearing" the tape from a cassette tape that was wrapped around me by a girl that I enjoyed kissing - this marks the first time I've kissed a girl with a stud - that was an experience - thank you sweet child of mine - come back when you're older (or I'm younger). The tape was the perfect accessory for my headphones BTW. We started kissing because she was wrapping the tape around me and a lot of other people, I then took the tape I had in my pocket and started taping us together, and one thing led to the other. We didn't exchange anything but mouthwater and tape, the age difference was way to high.

Made a post to the housemusik.dk forum:
http://housemusik.dk/forum/viewtopic.php?t=5827

Another top list - Mio my friend (I wish) you're the coolest I miss you, did you ever finish your book?

Kims top 10 male role models/coolest dudes ever!
1. Ole Mio Nielsen
2. Marrot (last name, spelling - not sure?) my woodshop teacher from primary school. I was hopeless in woodshop but my parents still have the bread "basket" I made so I guess it was quality made after all. He has influenced me more than most, including myself, realises. The "shooting for the basket" fancy I have - basket being the dustbin - was something I picked up from him. The lunchbreak always ended with Marrot asking for attention so that he could try to sink the aluwrap from his lunchpack (and he ate like 5 slices of danish ryebread so it was serious piece of aluwrap we're talking basketball size - "overdrivelse fremmer forståelsen") into the dustbin
3. Humphrey Bogart
4. Sean Connery
5. Malmcolm McDowel
6. James Woods
7. Jimmy Cagney
The rest of the list is made up of current friends and they appear in no particuliar order - my God am I happy having such cool frieds - they could easily make any top 10 list
*Ole Hansen (http://www.ole-hansen.dk)
*Jes Rasmussen - the LoTek dude - thnx Jes we all need a reality check once in a while
*Henrik Hammer (http://www.hammer.dk)

Missed the Alicia Keys concert, bummer - oh well it was strictly a-list so I didn't really qualify. Sitting in front of the National Theatre was very strange the paparazzi were out and I was in the line of fire because Hanne Boel and her daughter was sitting next to me, right on the base of the statue of Adam Oehlenschlaeger - Hanne was looking very hot (shame on you Casper Christensen for that horse pun - even though it was SO funny). Hanne actually looked hotter than her very attractive daughter. From the reactions of the papparazzi it was obvious that it was very rare to see Hanne on the town. To be fair the danish papparazzi are quite well behaved, it's the first time of my life I've seen them in action, never been that close to the a-list before.

Another thing I noticed was how quite the opposite world this was. At the "Ladies First" tour I was the "white gorilla in the mist", and boy did that turn heads, suburban americans are quite paranoid - but this was the exact opposite. My guess is that there most likely would only be a handful of africans in the crowd, their numbers most likely dwaughed by the number of africans on stage. I considered shouting to the a-list people - including Jimmy Jørgensen (does he really like Alicia, I doubt it) if they knew that Alicia is an african, luckily I restrained myself I'm NOT a hooligan. BTW I'm looking forward to next weeks tabloids "Se & Hør" and "Kig Ind"! I overheard how one of the so-called "journalists" asked Jimmy to sit next to Hanne; Jimmy protested "men vi kender jo ikke hinanden - we're not acquainted". I wonder what the caption will read! Stay tuned I'll have to find out (wonder if it will be published in the tabloid this week or not - most likely it will be next week).

Talked to a young girl who was trying to get tickets - seemed she had been in the claws of the ticket selling a..h... as well. She said that she loved Alicia and that she was such an inspiration - GO GIRL!!! Break the Commandments of Jante (more later) - be all that you can be!!! If I had had a ticket I would have given it to her - something the "selvfede" a-list would never consider even though they most likely didn't even pay for their ticket.

I found a Tibetan Restaurant - Samsara (http://www.samsara.aok.dk) close by the National Theatre - very good indeed I recommend the vegetarian dishes - I have sent them an e-mail to hear why they didn't have any Tibetan deserts - maybe deserts doesn't exist in Tibet. Helped some fellow dinner guests with the name of prince Jefferson (Jefferson von Pfeilundkleinellguth), I used my "lifeline" by calling my parents.

After dinner I swung by the Theatre to gently pad the building - that was the closest I got to Alicia that beautiful evening, and actually that was probably closer than I was in New York.

Alicia got rave reviews Urban (http://www.urbanavis.dk) gave 5*'s out of 6 billing her as a "Piano-Starlet" and wrote "Kongelig karat fra Alicia Keys - Royal carat from Alicia Keys - sorry but that's an attempt at a direct translation - Royal Performace by Alicia Keys might be better". The reviewer of Ekstra Bladet (http://www.ekstrabladet.dk) was not impressed! On the frontpage it read "Sygeligt Selvoptaget Alicia Keys - Sickening Selfabsorbed Alicia Keys", oh well this is the land of the "Jantelov" (e.g. the "Commandments of Jante" or as Nancy called it "The Lemming Law") - and since Ekstra Bladet is the premier supporter of the "Jantelov" that was to be expected. Read more about the Jantelov (http://www.bearcy.com/janteloven.html) here. The link is explaining the Jantelov in quite a lot of detail, but here's the lowdown- basically the "Commandments of Jante" dictate that "you're worthless - du skal ikke tro du er noget". The "Commandments of Jante" is a concept from the book "Janteloven" written by the Norwegian-Danish author Aksel Sandemos, and these commandments are very deeply rooted in the danish conscience.

Artists/people like Alicia Keys are such a kick in the rear end to the "Commandments of Jante" that it obviously provokes some Danes - maybe it even scares them!!! GET A LIFE dude and you're getting mirror from dissing Alicia - "HVAD MED DIG SELV - du da bare en taber kalder du mig selvoptaget og efteraber. Du får dobbeltbakspejl med dug på!!! For det man siger er man selv - for det står i aktuelt at du er en selvfed amatør" - shout out to "Anden" dér thnx for borrowing the Terkel-rap (sorry I didn't obtain a permit I hope that you forgive me???)

I have started to concieve a jantelov rap (loop and inspiration "Hvor du fra? Jeg fra Havnen by the Danish rapper Jokeren":

Hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F...ing Danmark

Du i Danmark, tro ik' du er no'et
Ellers ser vi til at du mister ho'det

Så kom ik' her med evner
Det ku' ske at du revner

Jantelov, Jantelov troede det var for sjov
Meningen er at dine evner gør dig flov
Så lemmingeeffekten kan trænge gennem som en plov
Og gennemsnits Jensen føler han tog det fulde rov

For hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F...ing Danmark

More to come...Additions and suggestions are welcome

Another comment on Janteloven - inspired by the FCK commericals...

Janteloven (to be chanted like at a game of football):
"Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! - Janteloven - Du må IKKE i Danmark

Anti-Janteloven
Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! - Anti-Janteloven - Du må GODT i Amerika

I posted on the official Alicia Keys message board to find out what's she's doing instead of the "Midtfyns Festival" gig:

Alternative to the canceled gig at Midtfyns Festival??? (http://www.aliciakeys.com:81/webx?50@223.xSFcaPodarW.2@.1ad58f72)
Kim Bach - 05:20am Jun 17, 2004 EST

"Now that the gig at the Midtfyns Festival - Funen, Denmark, Europe, 3rd Rock on the 25th of june 2004 - has been canceled, what will happen instead, r'n'r (you probably need it or will you play an alternative performance somewhere in Denmark, please (I'm begging because I didn't have tickets for the concert yesterday - 16th of june 2004) at the National Theatre in Copenhagen)"

No answer - yet - and actually it was scheduled for the 24th!

BTW I noticed that all are posting using handles. I didn't and that was probably a mistake, I guess that I'm not "netwise" these days - basically I havn't "been out" - netwise that is - since 1992. I fear (on the brink of knowledge?) that the neighbourhood has changed since the world moved in!

PS. Does it sound like I'm a potiential Alicia stalker? Well I'm not - rest assured - but Alicia girl you have an open invitation in case you need someone to show you Copenhagen - my town and/or Denmark - my country.

EnGEland, EnGEland. Several holes was added to that batch of Ementhaler!!! What a "Football 101" lession, that's why you need a Swedish coach - what we need in here is some discipline - maybe Real Madrid should hire a swede! BUT...Please dear God have the braindead minority of the EnGEland fans (e.g. the Hooligans) behave. I love EnGEland - I grew up with "Tipslørdag"; that is direct broadcast English Premier League matches; but I absoulutely HATE the Hooligans because they destroy the game that I love