Friday, June 18, 2004

Another top list - Mio my friend (I wish) you're the coolest I miss you, did you ever finish your book?

Kims top 10 male role models/coolest dudes ever!
1. Ole Mio Nielsen
2. Marrot (last name, spelling - not sure?) my woodshop teacher from primary school. I was hopeless in woodshop but my parents still have the bread "basket" I made so I guess it was quality made after all. He has influenced me more than most, including myself, realises. The "shooting for the basket" fancy I have - basket being the dustbin - was something I picked up from him. The lunchbreak always ended with Marrot asking for attention so that he could try to sink the aluwrap from his lunchpack (and he ate like 5 slices of danish ryebread so it was serious piece of aluwrap we're talking basketball size - "overdrivelse fremmer forståelsen") into the dustbin
3. Humphrey Bogart
4. Sean Connery
5. Malmcolm McDowel
6. James Woods
7. Jimmy Cagney
The rest of the list is made up of current friends and they appear in no particuliar order - my God am I happy having such cool frieds - they could easily make any top 10 list
*Ole Hansen (http://www.ole-hansen.dk)
*Jes Rasmussen - the LoTek dude - thnx Jes we all need a reality check once in a while
*Henrik Hammer (http://www.hammer.dk)
Missed the Alicia Keys concert, bummer - oh well it was strictly a-list so I didn't really qualify. Sitting in front of the National Theatre was very strange the paparazzi were out and I was in the line of fire because Hanne Boel and her daughter was sitting next to me, right on the base of the statue of Adam Oehlenschlaeger - Hanne was looking very hot (shame on you Casper Christensen for that horse pun - even though it was SO funny). Hanne actually looked hotter than her very attractive daughter. From the reactions of the papparazzi it was obvious that it was very rare to see Hanne on the town. To be fair the danish papparazzi are quite well behaved, it's the first time of my life I've seen them in action, never been that close to the a-list before.

Another thing I noticed was how quite the opposite world this was. At the "Ladies First" tour I was the "white gorilla in the mist", and boy did that turn heads, suburban americans are quite paranoid - but this was the exact opposite. My guess is that there most likely would only be a handful of africans in the crowd, their numbers most likely dwaughed by the number of africans on stage. I considered shouting to the a-list people - including Jimmy Jørgensen (does he really like Alicia, I doubt it) if they knew that Alicia is an african, luckily I restrained myself I'm NOT a hooligan. BTW I'm looking forward to next weeks tabloids "Se & Hør" and "Kig Ind"! I overheard how one of the so-called "journalists" asked Jimmy to sit next to Hanne; Jimmy protested "men vi kender jo ikke hinanden - we're not acquainted". I wonder what the caption will read! Stay tuned I'll have to find out (wonder if it will be published in the tabloid this week or not - most likely it will be next week).

Talked to a young girl who was trying to get tickets - seemed she had been in the claws of the ticket selling a..h... as well. She said that she loved Alicia and that she was such an inspiration - GO GIRL!!! Break the Commandments of Jante (more later) - be all that you can be!!! If I had had a ticket I would have given it to her - something the "selvfede" a-list would never consider even though they most likely didn't even pay for their ticket.

I found a Tibetan Restaurant - Samsara (http://www.samsara.aok.dk) close by the National Theatre - very good indeed I recommend the vegetarian dishes - I have sent them an e-mail to hear why they didn't have any Tibetan deserts - maybe deserts doesn't exist in Tibet. Helped some fellow dinner guests with the name of prince Jefferson (Jefferson von Pfeilundkleinellguth), I used my "lifeline" by calling my parents.

After dinner I swung by the Theatre to gently pad the building - that was the closest I got to Alicia that beautiful evening, and actually that was probably closer than I was in New York.

Alicia got rave reviews Urban (http://www.urbanavis.dk) gave 5*'s out of 6 billing her as a "Piano-Starlet" and wrote "Kongelig karat fra Alicia Keys - Royal carat from Alicia Keys - sorry but that's an attempt at a direct translation - Royal Performace by Alicia Keys might be better". The reviewer of Ekstra Bladet (http://www.ekstrabladet.dk) was not impressed! On the frontpage it read "Sygeligt Selvoptaget Alicia Keys - Sickening Selfabsorbed Alicia Keys", oh well this is the land of the "Jantelov" (e.g. the "Commandments of Jante" or as Nancy called it "The Lemming Law") - and since Ekstra Bladet is the premier supporter of the "Jantelov" that was to be expected. Read more about the Jantelov (http://www.bearcy.com/janteloven.html) here. The link is explaining the Jantelov in quite a lot of detail, but here's the lowdown- basically the "Commandments of Jante" dictate that "you're worthless - du skal ikke tro du er noget". The "Commandments of Jante" is a concept from the book "Janteloven" written by the Norwegian-Danish author Aksel Sandemos, and these commandments are very deeply rooted in the danish conscience.

Artists/people like Alicia Keys are such a kick in the rear end to the "Commandments of Jante" that it obviously provokes some Danes - maybe it even scares them!!! GET A LIFE dude and you're getting mirror from dissing Alicia - "HVAD MED DIG SELV - du da bare en taber kalder du mig selvoptaget og efteraber. Du får dobbeltbakspejl med dug på!!! For det man siger er man selv - for det står i aktuelt at du er en selvfed amatør" - shout out to "Anden" dér thnx for borrowing the Terkel-rap (sorry I didn't obtain a permit I hope that you forgive me???)

I have started to concieve a jantelov rap (loop and inspiration "Hvor du fra? Jeg fra Havnen by the Danish rapper Jokeren":

Hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F...ing Danmark

Du i Danmark, tro ik' du er no'et
Ellers ser vi til at du mister ho'det

Så kom ik' her med evner
Det ku' ske at du revner

Jantelov, Jantelov troede det var for sjov
Meningen er at dine evner gør dig flov
Så lemmingeeffekten kan trænge gennem som en plov
Og gennemsnits Jensen føler han tog det fulde rov

For hvor du nu? Du i Danmark
Hvor du nu? F...ing Danmark

More to come...Additions and suggestions are welcome

Another comment on Janteloven - inspired by the FCK commericals...

Janteloven (to be chanted like at a game of football):
"Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! Du R intet! - Janteloven - Du må IKKE i Danmark

Anti-Janteloven
Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! Du R noget! - Anti-Janteloven - Du må GODT i Amerika

I posted on the official Alicia Keys message board to find out what's she's doing instead of the "Midtfyns Festival" gig:

Alternative to the canceled gig at Midtfyns Festival??? (http://www.aliciakeys.com:81/webx?50@223.xSFcaPodarW.2@.1ad58f72)
Kim Bach - 05:20am Jun 17, 2004 EST

"Now that the gig at the Midtfyns Festival - Funen, Denmark, Europe, 3rd Rock on the 25th of june 2004 - has been canceled, what will happen instead, r'n'r (you probably need it or will you play an alternative performance somewhere in Denmark, please (I'm begging because I didn't have tickets for the concert yesterday - 16th of june 2004) at the National Theatre in Copenhagen)"

No answer - yet - and actually it was scheduled for the 24th!

BTW I noticed that all are posting using handles. I didn't and that was probably a mistake, I guess that I'm not "netwise" these days - basically I havn't "been out" - netwise that is - since 1992. I fear (on the brink of knowledge?) that the neighbourhood has changed since the world moved in!

PS. Does it sound like I'm a potiential Alicia stalker? Well I'm not - rest assured - but Alicia girl you have an open invitation in case you need someone to show you Copenhagen - my town and/or Denmark - my country.
EnGEland, EnGEland. Several holes was added to that batch of Ementhaler!!! What a "Football 101" lession, that's why you need a Swedish coach - what we need in here is some discipline - maybe Real Madrid should hire a swede! BUT...Please dear God have the braindead minority of the EnGEland fans (e.g. the Hooligans) behave. I love EnGEland - I grew up with "Tipslørdag"; that is direct broadcast English Premier League matches; but I absoulutely HATE the Hooligans because they destroy the game that I love

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Tomorrow is my 10th wedding anniversary. Actually I had forgotten all about it until three - thrashed I might add - Islandic nationals entrered the train and sat next to me. Tactful as I am I said welcome to the motherland - the danish speaking of the bunch asked me if I wanted to discuss politics ;-) Anyway...What's the connection you might ask? Well my wedding took place on the 50th anniversary of the Islandic independence - so tomorrow it's the 60th aniversary of Icelandic independence as well as my 10th wedding aniversary.

I left the Islanders on Høje-Taastrup station - they were going to Holbæk and I wished them a happy national day - they forgot to wish me a happy anniversary - oh well.

ps.

I'm divorced from Nancy since 1998.
The Czecks did it - phew - my predictions might still come through, Nedved that's my current favorite player - Zidane is a close second - but what about the Nistelrooy goal - that dude is amazing, gone for 99.9% of the game and then he pulls that out of the hat, Nistelrooy and Zidane has so far been the MVPs - those guys really make a difference

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Euro 2004 is in full swing, I have no belief in the Danish side (or rather had). I plan to catch a lot of the action at High-Q (http://www.highq.dk), they have a great projection TV and one of the best selections of beer in CPH, special Euro 2004 offer is a 3/4 litre of draught beer 40DKK (actually it's Carlsberg - does that qualify as beer - Carlsberg is improving but the draught beer doesn't really taste like anything - it is however quite refreshing unfortunately you will likely drink too much since it's quite potent?). Oh well it's an OK offer - and Pierre and Lykke (highqcafe@hotmail.com) are waiting to serve you @ High-Q, Sønder Boulevard 52, 1720 København V phone: 33 31 40 80. High-Q is usually closed on wednesdays check the website - that is if Pierre can get it up (pun intended) - for opening hours'n'stuff.

Predictions:
*England will not make it far because Beckham will FU
*Denmark will qualify by drawing against Italy, beating Bulgary and losing to Sweden. Denmark and Sweden will qualify, but Denmark will not make it further than the quarter-finals
*Final Holland-Czeck Republic, with the Czecks winning
*Henke will be top-gun/golden boot

Saw the DK-ITA game at High-Q. Yes! I took the jackpot by betting on the goal-less draw so that was a succes, but I'm SO disappointed that Denmark didn't eat and upchoke those italian "hair-balls". Everybody seems to be satisfied with the draw - but - my God - Denmark played football and I love football - maybe the best football by a Danish side we've seen since 1986. I'm almost willing to forgive the WC 2002 disaster against England. I'll stop dissing the guys, and I might even buy a R/H jersey...But please let Thomas Gravesen keep his violent tendencies under wraps, or else I will withdraw my support for Denmark - listen up Mr. Gravesen that is a serious threat ;-). Goal keeper problem - not - Thomas Sørensen put in a perfect performance arguably the best goalkeeping by a danish goalie since Schmeichel retired.

BUT...I still think that Morten Olsen is a sissy, and I'll keep dissing him until he takes some offensive chances, after the break he should have put in a striker so we could have taught the hair-balls an "Italian 101" (e.g. "Italiensk for Begyndere") lession
"Vi er fra Danmark" -
"Vi er fra Danmark" -
"Så ka' de lær' det" -
"Så ka' de lær' det" -

I'll give Morten Olsen this: using Perez was a great succes, here is a comming star

GO! Sweden - Henke rules - my top-gun/golden boot favorite!
Damn what an a..h...I'm looking for tickets for the Alicia Keys concert tomorrow, and I put in an offer of DKK 1.600 for 2 tickets...Then this guy calls me back, TWICE!, to tell me that he has been offered DKK 3.500! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING DUDE, that's a lie and you will burn in hell for your greed. Finally I sent him an SMS telling him that my final offer is DKK 1.600! Sorry Alicia you'll have to miss me, and since I already caught the "Ladies First" Tour (ticket was only approx. USD 125) I guess that I'll live. Anyways I'm having second thoughts about the concert if it's going to be Alicia doing a Piano & I gig I think that will be great, but if it's going to be the full band from the "Diary of Alicia Keys" part of the "Ladies First" Tour, it's not going to work - sorry but seats don't belong in a concert where the band is playing tight funky R&B grooves - so that's not exactly well suited to the National Theatre
"Things are going your way" (orkut fortune last week)

Seems to be right.

Very active weekend, friday great party at Orange, saturday great trip to Bon-Bon Land with the kids from Mjølnerparken, as always (actually this was only the second time I went but it's looks like something I will continue to attend a big thumbs up to Jes for inviting me in the first place) a very "ethnic" experience at Rødovre Byfest, seriuos chill-out mode sunday biked from Taastrup to Orange to install a new server (does that really qualify as chill-out???).
More top lists comming after the 10 most naturally beautiful women I'll post more lists - this is actually something I've never done before but since I'm "High Fidelity" type of geek I'm going to start compiling top-lists:

*10 "Coolest" women ever (in Danish: alletiders sejeste tøser - "cool" is not exactly the same as "sej" "badest" might be better - as Run-DMC put it "not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good"

1. My mother
2. Auntie Agnes
3. Gitte
4. Laureen Bacal
5. Kathrine Hepburn
6. Nehneh Cherry
7. Mae West
8. Queen Latifah
9. Missy Elliot
10. Greta Garbo

Thursday, June 10, 2004

A list of the 100 most naturally beautiful women has been released - Come on guys! yes they're all attractive and beautiful but class was obviously not the biggest requirement. However I agree that #1 is right on the mark - Audrey Heburn was all about class, classic beauty and innocense - sadly lost these days.

The list from "The Age" Australian newspaper

Here's my top 10

#1 Audrey Hepburn
#2 Ava Gardner
#3 Rita Hayworth
#4 Elizabeth Taylor
#5 Catherine Deneuve
#6 Monica Bellucci
#7 Halle Berry
#8 Beyoncé Knowles
#9 Alicia Keys (what!!! why aren't you on the list!!!) Alicia girl click here if you want to invite me on a date. Now that the Midtfyn Festival has been canceled I figured that you're available during the weekend of the 25-27th of June, I'm keeping my calendar open. I still don't have tickets for your concert in the Royal Theatre next week and it's sold out (snif...), but I caught the Ladies First Tour at the Nassau Colliseum New York April 10th - and your performance was incredible you're so talented, classic meets funk meets hip-hop meets rock meets jazz - GO GIRL!!! I need those tickets!!! Entered some competitions - please let me win.
#10 Liv Tyler