Danish Survival Guide

Traditionally Danes are very reserved people, on top of that they do expect that you behave in specific ways, in other words there are certain unwritten rules that the Danes expect that you follow. Don't expect Danes to give you any instructions or clues, but if you get frequent "stares" from Danes, chances are that you're breaking the unwritten rules.

I used to be married to an American, and she had great difficulty understanding the unwritten rules, as a result she found the Danes to be terribly inpolite, and vice-versa.

Below is a list of some of the most common unwritten rules taken from the book "Tak skal du ha´ - En bog om dansk takt og tone" ISBN 87 7399 558 4 written by Kirsten Ahlburg. I think that this list would have been quite useful to my ex-wife.

	When to give thanks when visiting: Thank you for inviting me Thank you for letting me come Thank you to the host when dinner is served Thank you for the dinner Thank you for the evening Thank you for the previous time me met
	When to give thanks in general: You thank somebody when you borrow something You thank somebody when you receive something You give thanks when somebody helps you You say "Yes thank you" or "Yes, please" (in Danish: "Ja tak") and "No thank you" (in Danish: "Nej tak") when you're offered something You give thanks if somebody offers to hold a door, helps you with a baby-stroller, offers you a seat in the bus, or otherwise show politeness towards you
	At the table: Do not smoke while dinner is still on the table Do not try to get something if you have to pass over somebody who is still eating If you have to sneeze or cough, cover your mouth with your hand. But try to avoid both Do not comb your hair Do not burp Do not chew chewing gum Do not make eating noises. You keep your mouth shut while eating Do not speak with food in your mouth You cover your mouth with your hand if you have to yawn. But try to avoid yawning If somebody proposes a toast, you have to return it
	When to say "you're sorry" (in Danish "undskyld"): If you made a mistake If you forgot an appointment If you push somebody If step on somebody's toes If you slam the door in somebody's face If you accidental hit somebody with your hand, body or luggage If you sidestep somebody in a queue or line If you're late If you said something you didn't mean If you're positioned so that you're obstructing other people (this is a really weird one)
	On the phone: You always ask if you can borrow the phone, before doing so You only borrow the phone to make short calls, and never to make long distance calls If you promise to return a call, remember to do so You do not make private calls while at work or in a classroom You always turn your cell-phone off in the classroom, at work, in a movie-theatre, a theatre or the like If you use a cell-phone in a public place, keep your voice quiet so that you do not disturb other people If you borrow a phone, you immediately offers to cover the costs If you call somebody to conduct a long conversation, you immediately ask if you're disturbing You announce yourself when answering the phone. It is not considered polite to say "hello" (in Danish "Hallo") or "yes" (in Danish "Ja") If you dial a wrong number, you say "Excuse me, I dialled the wrong number" (in Danish: "Undskyld, jeg har fået forkert nummer")
	Appointments: You're always on time You leave on time, if a specfic end-time of the appointment has been announced You announce if you're not coming in a timely manner You never miss an appointment without announcing that you're not coming You never try to use "bad excuses", like I missed the bus etc., for being late for or missing an appointment
	You never: Point your fingers at strangers in public You do not brandish your middle finger Threat somebody with your fist closed Refuse to shake an extended hand Drum your fingers at the table to show that you're impatient